I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
too bad you live with your parents still
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
