You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
