do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
