The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
