loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
