He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
