The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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