So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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