I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
