You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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