just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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