Got a toothbrush?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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