i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
