I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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