Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
As shirtless as possible
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
