Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
