I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Acid is not a monday night drug
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
