No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
