What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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