i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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