I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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