Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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