I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think my tv is drunk
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
