I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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