3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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