those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
