Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
