This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
