Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
