i think my mom watched the whole time
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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