Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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