He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
