Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Let's get the cat blown out
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
