I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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