Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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