GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
