Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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