I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
