yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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