I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize