come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
