Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
