i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
