I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
