Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
