just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
