Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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