Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
barbara walters just said penis...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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