in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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