i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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