CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize