you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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