they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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