This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Acid is not a monday night drug
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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