Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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