You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
