Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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