i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
