Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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