I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
