break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish you could order shots online.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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