I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
