very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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