and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
