You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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